I hope you always find a reason to smile :)

(via 4h0yh0y)

Yes because going crazy is buying a fucking lottery ticket on your 18th birthday. Super fucking duper. Way to go babe. Go big.

•_•

striatongym:

can we not turn the great gatsby into your gay fanfiction

(via munrochambers)

laugh-addict:

You are like:

And they are like:

(via alittlebitnerdy)

interwar:

do you ever just look at children of couples in films or television shows and go

no

you are genetically impossible

that is not a dominant allele

(via alittlebitnerdy)

soselfimportant:

4:35 Blaze it sorry traffic was crazy

(via pizza)

sabrinagrimm:

sabrinagrimm:

WHEN I WAS 4 I WAS ON SESAME STREET AND I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH GROVER AND HE ASKED ME HOW IT FELT WHEN I FALL OFF MY BIKE AND I CHUCKLED DARKLY AND SAID “I DON’T FALL OFF MY BIKE” AND HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA AND SAID “oh.” NAD THEN I SATRTED POINTING AND LAUGHIGN AT HIM AND THEN THEY CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AND THAT WAS IT THAT IS MY LEGACY

(via pizza)

abarestorytotell:

if you think i’m ugly now you should have seen me in 2009

(via pizza)

fackingmoarkewkies:

fuckingrecipes:

SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP PUTTING ICE CUBES IN YOUR LEMONADE. YOU WANT FIX YOUR WATERY LEMONADE? ADMITTING THERE’S A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND MOVING ON TO BEING A MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER. 

GET SOME FRUIT.

BLUEBERRIES, STRAWBERRIES, PEACHES, LEMONS, LIMES, FUCK I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE PAPAYA OR MANGO! GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND PUNCH SOME BUSHES UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY AND HANDS YOU YOUR GODDAMN FRUIT. 

BERRIES YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTO THE ICEBOX AND GO CONQUER A COUNTRY WHILE YOU WAIT A DAY FOR IT TO FREEZE.

PEACHES AND NECTARINES, FUCK, YOU CAN EAT THE DAMN SKIN ON THOSE! TAKE OUT THAT MACHETE YOU KEEP IN YOUR BACK POCKET, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHEN A DINOSAUR COULD COME KNOCKING AND MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO BE PREPARED, THEN HACK THAT DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER INTO SLICES. 

NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS IN YOUR FREEZER. 

YOU’RE A CITRUS KINDA ASSHOLE? 

TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR CITRUS AND RECYCLE THAT SHIT! SAVE THE WHALES, YOU HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER. 

I BET YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, WITH THE FREEZER. 

FUCK. 

WHEN YOUR FRUIT IS FROZEN, USE THEM INSTEAD OF ICE CUBES TO KEEP YOUR DRINK AS COLD AS A SNOWMAN’S FROSTY DICK, AND MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR MAYBE ONLY YOUR PETS SAY ‘WOW WHAT A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER’

IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF SHITHEAD, YOU CAN PUT YOUR FROZEN-ASS FRUIT INTO RUM OR VODKA OR SOME SHIT. 

NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A COLD, FLAVORED DRINK, BUT YOU’LL GET YOUR DAILY SERVINGS OF FRUIT. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS ASSHOLE. 

TASTES LIKE GODDAMN VICTORY, THAT’S WHAT. 

Calm down, Karkat

(via pizza)